Well, there is was blogging often and then, well, I lost my drive...and or I got back to work and started saving the world and ran out of time and energy and all that...ok...cutest Lili story ever...are you ready? I didn't think so.
While watching a Toys for Tots ad on TV, Lil had the following conversation with her mom...
Lil- "Mama, those kids on TV are getting presents."
Krissy- "Yep, some kids don't have mommies or daddies so they are getting presents from those nice people. Would you be sad if you didn't have mommy or daddy?"
Lil- "No."
Krissy- "If you didn't have mommy or daddy who would take care of you?"
Lil- "Missy and Lauren."
WELL DUH! Oh man, she totally, totally, totally gets it. And, just in case you were wondering "Santa" brought Lili a pink motorcycle that goes 2.5 miles per hour, a helmet, and a motorcycle jacket. Oh man, I can't wait to see her face on Christmas morning...she has been asking Santa for a pink motorcycle. Imagine that...(12/13/2007)
Lauren and I went to the beautiful wedding of my dear friend Stephanie from Alaska...she just sent the nicest email...see below...I am so thrilled that she has found peace and love and joy in her life...for the record she lives in Reno so I have not broken my word and ventured into the great white vast crapland that is Alaska...
Dearest Missy and Lauren,
I just wanted to drop you a line and tell you how thankful I am for both of you. Miss, you have been a steadfast friend through thick and thin, and have never wavered I have never had a friend like that, and never will aside from you. My wedding would have been a cluster if it wasn’t for you, and there are not enough thank yous or I love yous or holy shits to ever thank you enough. Your toast was stellar, and I cherish it.
Lauren. You have accepted me as Missy’s pal since the beginning and I appreciate that more than you know. You stepped up when things were amuck during the wedding set up, and you did so without a blink. You were calm, and funny and sweet, and engaged all my crazy family with a solid smile and friendly eye. I love you for that, and you are as good a friend to me as Miss now, which says more than you know.
I am thankful for both of you. And you are honorary naked bridesmaids. J I love yous….
Steph .
(11/22/2007)
I am not sure why you told me to read your blog...I think you just didn't want to rehash it for the 8 millionth time...I hope it wasn't out of any sort of fear or worry about disappointment...I don't know why you didn't call...I don't know why you couldn't tell me...I knew about the drugs...I knew all the way back, call it intuition but I really just knew...but I didn't know about the other...and I read it in black and white and I cried and I sobbed and I did not know where to sit or how to breathe...and it wasn't out of disappointment or anger...it was out of sadness that after all you were to me, I had still not become a person that you felt you could call or rely on for support...so here it is in black and white...there will never be any judgement...there will never be any admonishment...only love and a very, very deep understanding about how it feels to never be seen--even though you are on the edge of the Grand Canyon screaming for everyone to hear--but no one really listens...no matter how badly you fall.
This is for A...
11/15/07
I realized today that I have never told you how I came to be your nanny and what it meant to me to be that person to you if even for a short time. Okay, bad start. Let me start with this--I want you to know that you are one of the most important people in my life. I met you when I was the age you are now and I had no idea what I was doing. I was so lost and working for your family gave me the excuse to run away from everything I was afraid to be. When I met you all I wanted to do was gain your trust. I realize now that trusting people was one of the most difficult things for you to do. I was gay when I met you--keeping my secret, making out with my girlfriends (you know friends who are girls) and coming off a 6 week stint of homeless couch surfing in San Francisco. I went to get my hair done and the woman who had been in the chair before me was one of K's friends. She told Anthony that "a princess" was looking for a nanny--he asked if I wanted the job. Duh--um, how many kids? Just one--9 years old--okay, no brainer there. So then your mom calls me in the middle of the night, asks if I could drop my whole life and move to Europe. I had 24 hours to decide. How glamorous--jetting off to Europe to work for a princess sure, I will totally drop off the new boyfriend and I hate school so I can drop that and my roommate just stole all my shit and I can't pay the rent and that other thing (well, I can't talk about that) didn't exactly work out so ya--sign me up.
So there I was--trying to make an impression on a kid who had been through too much shit in this completely bizarre household and trying to hold myself together while wondering "what in the hell am I doing, who am I trying to kid?" You know the rest of the story. I loved you as good as I could and you will never fully comprehend the impact those months had on my life. For all of these years I have told people about you and how you came into my life. Being with you allowed me to be distracted from all the shit I was dealing with. I will never loathe or love Ace of Base more. I will never forget ironing your underwear and I will never forget your face when I gave you "The Little Prince". For you will always be that seeker. I want you to know that I have always seen you. I want you to know that I was always paying attention. And I want you to know that the reason I left wasn't you. It was my frustration at not being able to shake your mom into awareness. I also want you to know that you are the reason that I have done everything in my career because of you.
I realized while I was working for your family that anyone can be neglected, no matter how many resources they have. I realized that I wanted to help kids because I was really good at it. You are the reason that I majored in human development and psychology. You were the catalyst that moved me into the best educational and professional experiences that I have experienced. You are very important to me. You have seen me at my best and my worst and I love you for it. I love you no matter what. I love you because you are my little prince. I love you because you showed me that I can be anything I want to be. I love you because of your affinity for Ace of Base and your undying need to be seen and heard.
Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for letting me in--even if it was for a little while. Thank you for just being you. Know that no matter what I will always be here for you because A--you were always there for me--even if you didn't know it. And don't forget,
"Grownups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaning things to them." --Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Thank you for all you are--
Yours,
Missy
(11/19/2007)
For photos of my new best friend William Jefferson Clinton...see my photos page...oh believe! (11/4/2007)
We are going to meet Bill Clinton today...I am so excited I might pee on myself (now I know many of you are thinking this is not a rarity) but I really am excited. I wasn't so excited when it wasn't going to be Hillary anymore but as the informational emails have been coming I have gotten increasingly excited. I mean, who gets to say that in their lifetime they have met the first president they ever got to vote for? And who can say they shook the hand of his wife and the next president of the United States? Who? Oh, me...that is right bitches...by they end of today I will have shook the hands of both the Clinton presidents.
William Jefferson Clinton and I will be in the same little room. When I woke up this morning I was a little concerned because it was nine in the morning...then I realized that we hadn't reset the clocks and I bought myself a whole other hour...oh MAN!
Lauren was excited about daylight savings too...she said, and I quote, "This means I have a whole 'nother hour of McDonalds breakfast, awesome." So I have a whole 'nother hour to get excited about Bill and she has a whole 'nother hour to wake up. Praise be to jebus. (11/4/2007)
African saying:
"Now you've touched the women, you've touched the rock, you've moved the boulder, you will be crushed."
Now, if there was ever a more poignant saying, I believe that is it. I have to stop being angry...I have to just take action. I was chatting with one of my dearest friends Matthew today and was tellling him about my woes...without any of my feminist prompting he said what I was feeling yesterday...it is because we are women...it is because we are fighting for women's issues...it is because if you give women power the world will spin on its axis and we will all be doomed to a life of existence with braless, hairy hippies with no sense of decorum.
Because isn't that just the picture of feminism? Well folks, I have news for you...feminists aren't just hippies with angst...they are strong, powerful, brilliant, pantyhose wearing, high heel having, cleavage bearing, black lace bra wearing, yes we have our own set of powertools you idiot, politically brilliant, explosively charged, well read, well educated, yes those are manners we are exhibiting...well DUH!
So, stop messing with the women, stop fucking with the rock, because we are the boulder...and oh, is that you being crushed? (10/31/2007)
We just went trick or treating with Lili and the gang...it was delicious! She is just the darn cutest thing there ever ever was...anyhow, she was dressed like Tinkerbell and she had finally gotten brave enough to walk up to a house with her little friend Henry (without mom) and was just marching up to the porch and down comes a little sand person from Star Wars...without skipping a beat she just turned around and walked straight down the sidewalk...I wish you could have seen it...these words don't do it justice...she didn't cry, didn't scream, didn't freak at all...just kept on walking like nothing had happened. It was the best thing ever, I only wish we would have been videotaping...that was a $10,000 video for sure!
By the way, if you want to see the best family photos ever taken and you are ever are in need of a photographer...check out the Peko family at erinkatephotography.blogspot.com. That woman has talent oozing out of her from all sorts of places...and that Lil is just the darn cutest thing there ever was. (10/31/2007)
